chelan rene’ russ

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Archive for the category “God is teaching me…”

A Word

At the end of January, I went to a conference where an acquaintance came up to me and gave me a word from the Lord. It was in the middle of an extremely loud part of worship for youth, and I was doing just that – worshiping like there was no tomorrow. She had to literally yell into my ear. I thought she was going to tell me I was being distracting, so it was a relief to hear her say that she wanted me to know she feels really strongly that God wants to tell me that he knows my heart, and he is proud of me. To remember that I am his, an heir of his; and I have access to all he has for me. So whatever it is I need from him…

ask.

I had to approach her in a quieter setting later to see if I heard her right, and I did. I believe this word. But I often times forget that I have an all access status with my Father, the King. And that when I come to him with a right heart, he is not shaking his head in judgment of me, saying under his breath, “not her again. what’s she want now… a new day, a new request”. He is not.

He is not that kind of father. He is not that kind of King

He desires me to love him; to surrender everything

And when I walk up to his throne, if timid or courageous

He sees my heart, its motives bare…on scribbled journal pages

Unlike any father who has ever loved his child

Never disappointed, taken back by choices wild

His arms will never tire of the reaching they must do

For I am his beloved, and it is I, he will pursue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight, a friend told me that she had a scripture for me, and I cannot help but see similarities to that Word given to me in January. It is from Psalm 41.

1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the LORD delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The LORD protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land

11 I know that you are pleased with me,
for my enemy does not triumph over me.
12 Because of my integrity you uphold me
and set me in your presence forever.

13 Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.

 

Amen.

I know that it is only by the grace of my Father that I can even claim to have integrity. It is by his pure Holy Spirit that washes me and whispers to me daily. How I praise Him.

 

Feb.22nd: Advancing the Kingdom & the Push Back You Get

I will start this post by saying that today was a very good day. I picked up my friend who has survived a great deal of trauma Read more…

Justice Conference 2011

Last weekend I had such an amazing time at the Justice Conference in central Oregon (The Riverhouse Hotel and Conference Center in Bend). I keep using the word amazing. But it was a little bit of that, mixed with inspiring, with educational, with exciting, with fun, with entertaining, with exhausting, with spiritually uplifting, with empowering!

I sincerely hope that those who volunteered and those who organized it (World Relief and Kilns College) make it an annual event.

I’ve been a bit busy, and writing about the two day event would take up hours for me! But I want to document something here, something to remind me of all I was blessed to take in. So to capture many of my own memories and some much better quality photos than I took, I found one of the speakers’ blogs ~ here are a few of  Ken’s posts on last weekend’s Justice Conference:

I learned so much, and am so grateful to God for my experience that I got to share with my fellow SCTNow friend and volunteer, Ms. Mary Dirksen…not to mention how the Director of (Mary Nguyen) and interns at Not For Sale – Oregon let me crash with them both nights in their cozy Sun River abode.

Check out this other video put together by the J.C. organizers: http://vimeo.com/20094845

This event just made my passion for justice, specifically in the church and lived out in my personal life {DAY to DAY} burn brighter than ever!  No longer closing my eyes and ears to anyone who is hurting immensely. I will listen. I will notice. I will care. And I will do my very best to do what I can to respond. I want to do what God calls me to so that love and justice prevail in my life and Jesus may be seen a little bit more, here on earth.

…And saving the best little nugget for last in my post, below is the stunning, dead-on prayer written and then spoken at the beginning of the conference by Mr. Ken Wytsma:

God – lead us this weekend to hear the cry of the vulnerable and oppressed
Lead us to care for the weak and needy
Lead us to see others as brothers and sisters
Help us appreciate goodness, to love simply and not hide hypocrisy with rhetoric

Let us embrace justice and mercy
Grant us humility
Supply us with enough faith to give our lives away
And bless us with strength when we grow weary

LORD, let the knowledge of your love;
Fuel our commitment
Inform our passions
Stir our gratitude
And help us transform the world

For you and your Glory – Amen.

 

Eph.6, in Hi-Def

I started this new category of documenting spiritual attacks in relation to ministry efforts because I’ve noticed in the last year – a direct correlation between the two. I want to be better prepared and learn more about how our efforts here on earth affect spirits. Read more…

Letting Scripture Sink In

Today, I actually got up before Angel and made my coffee and sat down with my trusty NLT Bible and journal. Didn’t get to the journaling part though. Next time, I will not have my laptop open in front of me. I read from Hosea.

This is a sort of format I’ll use to help remember what I read and let it sink in:

S (scripture) ~

Hosea 1:14-23 – 2:1-4

O (observation) ~

God has feelings of abandonment when we idolize things or people, above him. He hurts. He grieves. He longs for closeness even when we say we are committed to him but our actions show otherwise. This really means we are all adulterers at some point. He takes this seriously. But he has a pull toward us, for we are HIS. We are his beautiful bride, and he is patient with us as we find our way back to him. He has done nothing to deserve mistrust. Yet we struggle to trust him every day.

A (application) ~

I can always trust Him, and when I have trusted in a man or in things to provide for me and make me “happy”, I need to simply go back to him and with humility say to him – I was wrong. I want to trust you again. Help me when I’m weak!

I can choose to prioritize my God above other people or duties in my life. When I do this, those people, relationships and duties come to life with purpose, they thrive and grow and give glory to God. When I don’t submit them to God as head of my life, they suck energy out of me, creating stress and anxiety and a false sense of security.

P (prayer) ~

Lord Jesus, I’m sorry I don’t trust you more. You are so worthy. Help me to prioritize you first in my life – even in my day. I’ll take it day by day and lean on you. You have never let me down. Thank you for bringing peace and organization into my life of chaos and worry. You are my Prince of Peace and I am your princess!

~ Christmas Time 2010 ~

This Christmas was different than the last 3 years. Different-eR. It was special because of quite a few things. This is our first Christmas, living in the Portland area, since 2002…the year Braylon was born.

No travel plans to make for us – only the ones made for my incredible in-laws to join us at the home we just moved into. This place amazes me…and the fact that God, in his grace, made it possible for us to rent it and share it with many family members this week. It is humbling, sometimes surreal. The fact that He made this possible and has blessed Ricky’s business as much as He has since July, just makes me shake my head & smile with satisfaction. Yes, he loves me that much. He promises that if we delight ourselves in Him, he will give us the desires of our heart (~Ps. 37:4). We have… and He has. Room for the kids to run and play, an open white & cheery kitchen, a garage, a neighborhood with friendly people and park close by, a backyard, all appliances,  and owners that are incredibly easy to work with and talk to. These are just a few of those desires of my heart, which He has given.

Glory to God, always faithful to His word.

C H R I S T M A S 2010

Before I forget, here are some details of our December.

Music Scene: The 12th, I got to sing several songs at Horizon Community’s annual concert. This year, they were What Child is This, Go Tell It (a duet with the beautiful Brooklynne Levasa) and I Believe, the finale, which was originally sung by my favorite blues musician of all time, Mr. Jonny Lang.  On the 17th, I sang at a cute modern cafe called ‘Cloud 7′ in the Pearl. Two songs: O Come, O Come Emmanuel (blues style) and Silent Night (a capella style) w/a great, young performer, Ms. Sarah Billings & her extremely talented band, complete w/keys, guitar, drums, bass, & even a sweet sax player. SO fun. My family all came and supported me, even for just two songs. What a great night.

The Move: The next day, we finished painting in the new place on Morgan Ct., & we MOVED! Fresh colors on the walls and our own things inside this house really made it seem like home almost straight away. My mom was so helpful! Providing labor (painting the bedrooms), hugs, housewarming gifts and coffee as needed…all week long.

The next day, I was singing again at church; this time blessed by Pastor Kenny who gave me the opportunity to do my bluesy Christmas song, “This Jesus”, a personal one I wrote last year in Texas, about how even though miracles happened more frequently around the time of Christ’s birth, we can still pray for & expect them, even now.

Family Together: On the 20th, I just ran around town and did some last minute shopping for food and a few small gifts. The Pilands flew into PDX that night…and Ricky let Braylon stay up and go with him to pick them up, even w/an 11:15pm arrival.  He said when Braylon saw Gamma at the gate, he ran full steam ahead toward her, jumped up on her in a huge hug with all limbs hanging on, nearly knocking her over! I guess he missed her. :) It’d been since May or June. Too long. But not as long as Kim had gone without seeing them…14 months. Way, WAY too long!  Kim, Clint, Aaron & Ali made the 7-hr drive (but it really took about 9 due to central WA snow) to visit & stay w/us. All 4 of ‘em piled into Angel’s room. It may be a little close for comfort, but it works!

On the 23rd, the 8 of us along with Jeremy, Jamie, Riley & Tyler all gathered and talked and laughed and ate a delicious meal together, then opened gifts and then indulged in some sweets, played a game, talked more, & just enjoyed each other’s company. I was concerned about providing & preparing the food for so many, but we all chipped in and helped. Janis and her meal-plan she devised with me saved the week from stress. It’s actually been fun to make meals.

~~~~~~~~

My Side of the Fam:  Christmas Eve was spent with my parents and sister’s family, as was Christmas morning (at Charity’s home)…LOTS of fun. I just LOVE them!

As much as we tried to go away from a big ‘ol load of gifts, you can only not-contribute so much – and then when you’re at family members’ homes, you just gotta do what they’re all doing, I guess. Not that gift-giving is wrong or bad. I love giving. I think we just want to move away from spending and focusing on the monetary gifts. Our goal as we’ve been more convicted lately, is to focus a bit more each year, on worship and Jesus and giving to people outside our lil family…like to those who have serious needs. This is what the Lord has been speaking to us. We will be able o use it as a more true teaching moment for our kids and help them to keep their perspective in the right place so that when they have kids, they can learn and celebrate the true meaning of this season, much more than generations past.  Rick & I think that if we all did these things (give more but spend less, serve more as a family, & engage in full worship together, during the Christmas season, it would glorify Jesus more, as he is worthy to be praised. We want to do that in the future. As I type this even now, a Pandora commercial came on for Compassion International suggesting to give a gift of a chicken to a family who needs the eggs. “Go to www.compassion.gifts.com“. That’s one thing – one example of what I mean. I love that idea!

Back to the Bebb home get-together…we had a blast and enjoyed our time, ate roast beef – which my mom did perfectly! My mashed potatoes, KFC’s gravy, fruit-,spring- and jello-salads, and more. It was different and delectable.  This morning’s feast was traditional for the Bebb’s (@ the Stewarts) including her famous Santa Pancakes (pics to come), hammy eggs, bacon, sausage & a gorgeously gooey monkey-bread masterpiece inside her glass covered cake-dish. Drool – on – keyboard…wiping up now.

It has been amazing to spend so much of the last week or so with so many loved ones – that physical element and proximity make such a difference. The hugs and kisses and games and tickles and photos taken and cooking together and eye contact – these things are all so special. Simply special. They are reminders to me of how good our God is.

That was about it.

I will write later about how we told Angel that Santa’s ’misfit’ elf, Hermie, came down our chimney and left us a loaf of wonderfully baked cranberry orange bread, ginger bread cookies and pastries.

As for now, I am BEAT! A good beat.

A blessed beyond belief beat.

To Give is a Powerful Thing.

I heard from a  friend that today was Union Gospel Mission’s annual “Operation Overcoat” event where they do a coat-drive for all of Portland’s homeless – which is to last them through the cold winter months.  We took the kids with us and went down to 3rd and Burnside as a family to see if we could help. There were many people lined up for coats and food – about two-three blocks long. We stopped by Stumptown Coffee Roasters for a cup o joe first…where I met “Rex”, a girl who seemed in her late teens, sitting right outside the coffee shop. She was obviously homeless, with her sign asking for money so she could pay for her place in a hostel that night…and her small bundle of belongings. She was tan, had short, curly hair covered mostly with a cute hat, and eyes that were tired and kind and evading.

As I stood in line at Stumptown, I thought I’d just have Rick order so that I could talk with her. I never would have done this one year ago. But since learning a bit more about street life, and since I’ve been given more authority to approach people, I’ve gotten used to it. I probably even seem pushy or entitled to some. But regardless, I have way fewer thoughts about how people view me. (Gal. 10:1) especially if there is a greater, God-given purpose at steak… I really dont care much about anything except wanting to use this new audacity and courage to further His cause and Kingdom. Sure, I get insecure and pelt with anxiety at times, but I’ve been pushing through, because of that end purpose.

I had Angel & Braylon with me and we approached her with a smile. She smiled back. I said, Hi. and introduced myself and kids.  Then the conversation went something like this,

So, we wanted to take our kids down here and meet some people – kind of get out of our lil neighborhood today. It’s good to meet you. How long have you been in Portland? {Just like 2 days. I’m from New York. But came here to Portland from Cali.}

Wow, how’d you get here? {Usually, I hitch-hike… but sometimes jump a train. It’s not so bad.}

So, you’re trying to get enough money to stay at a hostel tonight? {Yeah.} …then we talked about the coffee at Stumptown and how someone bought her one and the barista made a heart design in the foam…and somehow the conversation turned to the Saturday Market….and then to child trafficking. She didn’t know really what it was, or that it happened in the U.S. much. I told her it sure did…and right here in Portland. I let her know that ,ost of the time it is not actually not done by kidnapping or force at first (like she thought), but by people tricking (mostly) girls (average age 12-14) … coercing them – dating for a while, buying them nice things – or giving them food & shelter – just enough to survive, but make sure that these girls never have enough to feel secure or independent. I went on to say that many times, when girls are lured in like this, once they’re in, they are usually raped or even gang-raped – told they are useless, stupid and other painful things. And told they are a piece of property now. But I didn’t want to just tell her all that and then be like, “Well, I gotta go now, good luck!”, so,  I let her know of the Walk to Stop Child Trafficking next Saturday, Oct.2nd, to stop this crime, and gave her a post card with the address. I made sure to let her know it was was free & that I’d love to see her there.

Before we all went on our way, I thought I should ask her if she wanted prayer for anything, so I did. She smiled again and looked down and said “sure”. I asked her what to pray for and she replied, “just happiness”….nodded her head & said it again. I reassured her I would to that. She replied, “thanks”, paused, and then reminded me to check out Saturday Market.

We walked on, toward Burnside, and came across a man playing guitar for change. Rick & I don’t carry change or cash usually, but Braylon had just earned $5 in allowance yesterday. This wasn’t just any $5. though. Rick must have gotten it from the bank in the form of silver & gold coin dollars…so it was more like treasure than allowance money. He was SO excited to get it that he went back to hug his dad with a few extra ‘I love you’s.

Well, Braylon saw this musician’s case open and he realized he had that money on him. He reached in his pocket and walked back and tossed in a silver dollar. The old man winked and nodded and kept playing. Braylon just smiled. When we asked him why he did that, he said, “because of the feeling I get when I do that”… “and because he was playing soooo goooood!” We told him we were very proud of him and that the Lord loves a cheerful giver.

Two more blocks down, a frail looking woman in her late 40′s who was limping, asked us (as a family) if we had just 75 cents so that she could catch the bus. Rick & I felt lame that we didn’t & told her that and started to continue on our way, but Braylon slowed up a bit. To a stop. He reached down again, into his pocket and pulled out another one of his silver dollar treasures, walked back toward her, and extended his hand out with that coin. She thought we’d passed her up so she was taken aback – especially that an 8 yr old boy would give her this. She actually refused as first. But when Braylon kept his hand out, she took the coin and thanked him, and said to him, “God bless you, son, thank you! You are so precious!” As we walked on, kiddingly, Rick said, Bray, you’re gonna go broke if you keep givin’ away your money!” And that woman was still right behind us and heard and said smiling, something like, “Oh, you will not go broke. I know you won’t. God will bless you with even more!”

We just kept telling him how proud we were of him, giving like this. After we dropped off the coats, we went to Burger King. I guess there was a spirit of giving – a theme for the day! And next thing I know, Ricky had bought several gift cards there, to give to homeless people. We drove back to Stumptown to find Rex & give her one, but she’d already packed up her few things and moved.  I really wanted to see her again. Maybe I will next weekend.

Tonight, Rick and Bray did a reading experiment. Since 8 is B’s favorite number, we went to the 8th book of the New Testiment, the 8th chapter and 8th verse…just to see what it said. To get the full idea, he had to back up one verse and read it all together:

Since you excel in so many ways—in your faith, your gifted speakers, your knowledge, your enthusiasm, and your love from us—I want you to excel also in this gracious act of giving. I am not commanding you to do this. But I am testing how genuine your love is by comparing it with the eagerness of the other churches. – 2 Cor. 8:7-8

Sometimes at Church

Sometimes at church, you go and you sing and you listen and you talk and you leave. Nothing really changes.

Other times, you can be so blessed.

This morning I’m so glad we decided to get up, get ready & go to Horizon Community Church.  The worship time was anointed – and we were blessed. Our long-time family friend (my Godfather, growing up), Tom Leisman lead worship and threw in some old-school songs like ‘Jesus, Jesus, Jesus’ (“…sing to the Father…”), and “Above All”. Afterward, I got to see a friend who’s visiting from Louisiana, Rebecca. We went to grade school together & it’s so cool that we’ve kept in touch. It was so good to see her.

Then a couple came up to me and they spoke to me about my ministry, Stop Child Trafficking Now.  Sheila and Loyd Matthey prayed for me. Sheila told me I’d been on her mind all week & then gave me a word from the Lord… it was simply this: that He is proud of me.

It made me cry. It made my entire day. And it will help me through this whole campaign.  He loves each of his children so much. This was, in a huge way… a wink from God.

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