a love prerequisite

i read this week in an article that we as people in general, cannot really love anyone else until we first know how to love ourselves. it was actually in question form – how can we love anyone else unless we first love ourselves? so i present that as a question to anyone out there. it’s a great concept when loving yourself means a healthy respect for, vs. an egocentric, self-centered love. but ya know, i can think of examples of people who obviously & often love others in thought & deed, but don’t love themselves as much… so it makes me think it can be done.


not that’s it wrong to, but is there anywhere in the Bible that says we’re to love ourselves at all, let alone before we can truly love others? is it a prerequisite?

and how does the command, ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ play a part in your answer? what if you hate yourself…or you have a distorted self-image? is your love for others then automatically distorted or thwarted? i could just hear someone saying,’before i can really love this friend or my spouse, i have to work on loving myself.

i don’t know about that. lot of questions, but just some food for thought.


2 thoughts on “a love prerequisite

  1. Becky February 7, 2008 / 6:12 pm

    Well I definitely think that you need to love yourself (Healthy Respect kind of love) and have a good self image (as in seeing yourself through God’s eyes) before you can ‘receive’ love. Its very hard to accept love, when you don’t feel you’re worthy of it. As far as being able to give it, I’m sure it CAN be done, But again, I think until you can see yourself through God’s eyes and accept HIS love, its hard to truly know how to love others. Also, we can’t give the best of ourselves if we don’t take care of ourselves. I don’t mean in a selfish way, but don’t our loved ones deserve the best of us?

  2. Meghan February 8, 2008 / 8:08 pm

    Hey Chelan! So, I read your little blurp about loving yourself before loving others. I used to think that it wasn’t true…I would think of how I was able to accept others and not myself…it drove me crazy! During the summer I was reading “Waking the Dead” by John Eldredge and in it he talks about learning to love your self before loving others and I didn’t agree…then God gave me an example. The very next morning God put the passage to work in my life. That morning I was feeling very self conscious and I remember not feeling particularly cute or pretty and it had an effect….my little sister (who is gorgeous I might add 🙂 had a very cute outfit on and when she asked me how she looked I snapped at her and told her it looked fine. I acted as if I was irritated with the question and irritated with her when in reality I was feeling inferior. I wasn’t loving who God has made me to be. God began to speak to me and show me that I wasn’t truly loving Morgan either and that my insecurities and fear of being compared with her were standing in the way of showing His love for her through me…He really changed my perspective.

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