He's pure love, and all you need.
Ask Him to forgive you of everything you've done that is wrong, & trust that He's already done away with it all. Deciding to take that step of faith and live for Him - it means everything changes. As you get to know Him better by reading his Word {
the Bible}, and by praying and listening for his voice, those quiet promptings tugging you in the right direction, you'll notice a difference in your heart. And mind. You'll notice your desires changing, in all kinds of ways. You'll notice that as you get closer and closer to Him, He reveals more and more of Himself to you, strengthening you with each step you take. You're living each day now a part of the kingdom of God...a part of the family of God. Joy and peace can become an everyday way of life, regardless of circumstances. Life becomes less about you and more about pouring out all He's filling you up with - the good things from his Spirit.
Serving and loving others is just an automatic response to His love. Giving and being generous is too, because you think of everything as HIS anyway, and we are honored to manage the time and resources He gives us while we're here on this earth. He gives us wisdom to know how to spend it all right, and for his glory. Worshiping is another overflow of the Spirit. Another response to His love, that will bring more peace and joy, as you surrender in all kinds of areas, all the time. You can surrender your life to Him, because He's totally trustworthy. There are all kinds of way you can express your love back to Him. He lived completely surrendered to the Father's will. He could have sinned, but never did. He stayed true to His calling to become the sacrifice on a cross, once and for all people, so anyone and everyone could be restored to the Father. And now we are free from rule-keeping and sin...We have a new mind, clean and whole. We can now be a part of increasing the kingdom of God by living out and being submitted to His Spirit. Jesus gave us authority and power to change our world this way.
So keep seeking Jesus in the Word. Read those New Testament red letters and believe Him. When you start to live for him as a result of believing, it will be in a new covenant with Him - one with amazing promises. You will see things more clearly than you ever have. And you will experience true freedom!
Chelan 
Such cute and lovely kids you have! God bless!