Why is it SO *$!@% hard to communicate?

I am tired. Today was good, but draining. Just typing this is making me yawn.

You know what wears me out? When grown-ups don’t feel comfortable confronting each other with an issue, so they talk to other grown-ups about it you. Is it just me, or does this kind of thing seem 7th grade? We should be mature enough to talk things out.  To communicate. Maybe in a perfect world.

That just doesn’t happen a whole lot. When it does, it’s refreshing, if the honesty isn’t brutal. I guess non-confronting and talking goes hand in hand with the female gender, wherever we work, play…live. Women talk. It’s what we do. I do too. I us’ly try to keep it between my boss &bitchfight1 me…my hubby & me…or my mom and me (since she’s so far removed from most people I know). Sometimes I need to “get somethin’ out” or “vent”.  Not that everything I say is necessary. I will justify gossip even to these three, by calling it “venting”. It’s no good, however we cut it…and bottom line? We need to just cut it out.

– Case in point, as I’m writing this, I was just interrupted by my son who told me my next door neighbor keeps threatening to call the cops on him because he’s climbing a tree (of which 1/8th hangs over her yard).  C’mon people. Let the boy climb a tree. Lady, walk your butt 50 yards over to my door, knock on it, and talk to me. How about we women grow a pair & get to the bottom of issues using ol’ fashioned communication between party A & party B?  WHY is that so hard? And don’t use the default answer, “cuz we’re just so sensitive, we hate to bring something up that will hurt feelings”. That might be an answer. But I think the answer sounds more like,

“cuz arguments and conflict make me uncomfortable. I can’t stand feeling awkward. They might take offense and I might even lose a friend. I need to avoid conflict, even if it means letting an issue get the boiling point inside of me, pretending it doesn’t exsist when they’re around, but when I feel safe to let it boil over, I let it – to whomever will side with me, because me feeling supported and right is more important than resolving the issue the right way…the ethical way…the hard way.”

OK, that’s like the long answer. But I think it’s pretty accurate. And by the way, if you’re reading this & you have a problem with me, call me, come over, or email me. I’d be happy to chat.

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3 thoughts on “Why is it SO *$!@% hard to communicate?

  1. Cathy February 13, 2009 / 1:18 am

    Amen, sista!

    what IS the deal with “adults” acting like jr highers or worse???

    If I’m honest, I’ve been guilty of “venting” (to my hubby, mostly) about some things. Especially, in “christian” circles we need to be about encouraging or checking our brothers and sisters in a non-judgemental kind of way, if you know what I mean. “As iron sharpens iron”. But we also need to accept it when it comes our way, be approachable and teachable as well. ahhh…if we only lived in the ideal world:) Can’t wait till this is all perfected in the kingdom!

  2. Cathy February 13, 2009 / 1:57 am

    Love that cat fight photo, btw! cracks me up.

  3. chelan February 15, 2009 / 10:26 pm

    thanks for your 2 cents! – thanks for the reminder to to be able to accept it when it comes our way….being teachable. i often wonder if i fit that descrip.

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