Just reading 1Kings 19 tonight, about Elijah, and how God spoke to him.
Most of the time, when we Christians think of God speaking to an old testament figure, it’s with this booming, overbearing, low-pitch voice & high reverb. “…THUS SAYETH THE LORD (ord,ord)”.
But I jus’ came across this part in 1 Kings & thought – Woah. It says, as Elijah stood there, The Lord passed by, and * a mighty windstorm hit the mountain (Sinai) – so terrible, it tore loose the rocks “But the Lord was not in the wind”. * Then there was an earthquake, “but the Lord was not in the earthquake”. * After the earthquake, there was a fire “but the Lord was not in the fire”. And after the fire, there was the sound of …
a gentle whisper.
…”what are you doing here, Elijah?”
The Lord goes on to tell him to stop running & hiding from his fears (vs. 2: Jezebel had a hit out on him). Instead, face them. Get back on the road, because there is some business to take care of.
This morning @ 6am, I awoke with sudden & terrible anxiety & thoughts of my son dying – not specific – just that he would die soon, and I need to spend as much time w/him as possible before he does. Well, I have been praying for the gift of discernment this week, but not without a LOT of wisdom first. I actually thought in my half-asleep stupor, that it could be the Lord. I got up and prayed over Braylon, went back to bed, and thought – That was NOT God. It started as a panic attack and lead to fear and thoughts of death. Perfect love drives out all fear. God did not give me a spirit of fear. His Word constantly says, “Do NOT be afraid”.
Then after that realization came, I heard other thoughts – like, “you need to start praying with Braylon, for your nation.” “His generation will be ruling it sooner than you think”. I pictured the map he had just colored beautifully of North America, displayed on my fridge door.
Sometimes fear can make me want to run away and hide – sometimes I’m too tired to fight. Or too disabled with worry. But the Lord always finds me where I am. He doesn’t chastise me for these things. He simply redirects.
“…but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was the sound of a gentle whisper, ‘what are you doing here, Chelan?’ I have too many things for you to do right now – abandon this fear-cave. Go & be my warrior in prayer.”