Today I’ll just “free write”. I remember that was my favorite time during school – during my favorite class, Creative Writing. Just write with no regard to spelling or puncuation…just write until the teacher says stop.
Today I’m tinking about how little life is. how short it is. and how small we are. yet with great possibility and great opportunity to impact others. every person has their struggles. it seems so much more beneficial to fight our battles publicly than privately. whats the worst that could happen…people think you’re weak? whatever. people are weak. everyone’s weak without the strength of Christ. that’s the only thing that makes any difference in a trial. so if i ever tell you or you hear me telling anyone, “dont tell anyone we’re going through this, but…” feel free to call me on it – because those words most likely come from a root of pride. i dont want pride, but rather humility. i want people of like-faith and beliefs to come alongside me, offering words of affirmation and encouragement – telling me they know I can make it through, in CHrist’s strength, and for his glory alone. people who are not of like faith might want to support me and might think they’re supporting me, but they have a different sense of reality than i do. their hope is secured in different things and people than my hope. the sourse is different. so i tend to shut that type of support out & ignore it…not becuase i think i’m better than they are. no, not that at all. i just htink its human nature to surround yourself with like-minded people. and if one tends to focus on the negative & talks poorly of people around them, they will probably seek out and gravitate toward others who do the same. likewise, if one wants to think nothing but positive thoughts, stay away from gossip, believe in miracles and the ‘impossible’, that person will probably surround themslvs w/others who think that way.
i want to be surrounded by people who spur me on to better works – who challenge me in my thinking – who see behaviors in me that are off-base according to the Word of God – an dwho aren’t afraid to let m e know, in love. now, if it’s not compared to the Word of God, as a basic frame of reference, than i dont really care what they think of me. i’d really like to be less & less of a people-pleaser than i used to be – no, i have had a good long season of that & all it does is breed insecurity. you’d think that being a God-pleaser would bring about more insecurity, seein’ as he’s, well, perfect? but really, it’s more comforting. cuz heres the thing- i know he loves me for who he created me to be – for who i am – and if i’m not measuring up to peoples standards, but i’m pretty sure that I’m doin my best, than that is ALL that matters. i was just talkin w/a co-worker about that today…the scripture that reads, do everything as if you were working for the Lord and not for men. whats the whip cream on that coffee, is that i dont have to go to any extravagant length to try & convince him of my efforts or intentions. he knows my heart down to each miniscule motive. and if a motive is wrong or i did sin, then his Holy Spirit is right there, gently telling me where the road back to righteousness is. i love that!!!!!!
how does one get from glory to glory to glory? i think by never being satsfied in their walk with Jesus. its so weird, just when i think i’m good or content, i come across some new revelation and find – theres MORE. what? more? yes! there’s more to this thing called Christianity! its like that old movie, the ABYSS, when they went deep sea diving into this dark cavern and it just kept going further and further down, til you were like, ok, the ocean cant be THAT ddeep. but it pushed your mind’s limits to think, well, maybe it can! (then it got all sci-fi & there was this alien in another underwater world & thats beside the point). i bet thats how astronauts feel too. . . like how far could man travel outsd the earths atmosphere? does it ever end? WHAT the heck is THIS? it looks like a whirpool – lets call it the Whirpool Galaxy! but look at THAT further up ahead…WHAT THA?! – we’ve already come 3.7 billion light years & seen so much. what could possibly be ahead of us?
I want my walk with Christ to never end like that. to keep seeking out new ‘glories’ – new revelations that bring me hope and spur me forward, no matter what i’m facing- great triumph or great failure or great fear or great depression or great contentment or great joy. I am so happy that i have my husband alongside me to experience life w/. he makes me think. he’s one of those ‘challenger’s. one of his favorite quotes is “can i challenge you on that?” to which i us’ly reply, “NO.” but then he’ll go on.
i wish we both had a good hand full of friends like that too. it’ll come. we have waited for the roots to grow. we have awaited the wounds of friends, but for years, the vast majority have skimmed the surface, barely making a mark on our skin. the Lord has some in mind for us. perhaps he will guide us and give us a divine appointment with them soon.
“if you delight yourself in the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart”. God, what ‘s the next glory? I can’t wait.
Hi Chalan, I thought I would check back and see how you are doing. I sent your testimony on to someone who is struggling. As I pointed out to him, God allows us to go trough trials so we can be sensitive and supportive to others. You are correct that we all go through trials at times. It is during these times that God waits patiently for us to come close to Him. As we pray for you and your husband, we can sense that He is working in your lives and has something very special for you.
Ken & Maggie
Thanks, Ken. I was just telling the Lord last night that I hope to never abandon him when trials come. I hope I will never walk away from him or doubt his sovereignty or goodness. For He is my portion. My sustenance.
God has many wonderful things in store for our family right now; we just are unable to see them. We are looking to move back to Oregon where much of our family is either living or is looking to move to, as well. Please pray that we know that we know what His calling is for us concerning ministry, and have the drive and courage to move fwd in it. If we are in his will and obeying his calling, then provision will never be an issue.
For those whom he has called, he has equipped. Our faith will be credited to us as righteousness.
Chelan, from the words on your blog I could tell you have been struggling. Maybe I can relate from experiences in our own lives. Just living can sometimes be a struggle and can take away the joy. I use to think it centered around expectations but it is much more than that. You have been willing to make many changes and still not reached satisfaction. I would hate to tell you how many times we have moved or how many things I have done. Part of it is an unwillingness to accept anything less than the real joy that comes only from the Lord; that joy of being used by God and being in His perfect will. I know there are many things you do not understand right now but He will reward you for you faithfulness.
May He give you peace and joy!
Please keep us posted so we can continue to pray for you.
Ken & Maggie
Two Scriptures I am sure you already know: Habakkuk 2:2-3 and James 1-13.