I wrote this post during a strong storm in Hutto, TX, about some songs I was planning on singing at church, “I will not take my love away” (Matt Wertz) & “Great is Thy Faithfulness” (Cece Winans). The storms in Texas were loud, awesome and sometimes scary.
The next night after writing that, June 3rd, I was up @ 2am trying to wake the children. We were all lying on 1 queen sized borrowed air mattress, the only material belonging that was left in our gorgeous 2100 square ft. home at 205 Altamont. We’d sold, given or donated all of our belongings that weren’t able to squeeze into the Scion for the trip up to Oregon.
Anxiety had gripped my heart tight from the moment I laid down that night. Every time I managed to touch sleep, 10 minutes didn’t pass before I woke up again. If it wasn’t due to Braylon’s slightest move on that leaky air mattress, it was the enemy of my soul waking & pelting me with thoughts of terror-filled, irrational what-if’s, & shortness of breath. Now was the time to remember & believe the words to those songs I’d been practicing earlier that week.
Fast Forward to today.
After living w/family for 4 weeks, then moving into a 3 bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor for 5.5 months, we moved here. Living in a home in Wilsonville, near the river was an answer to a specific prayer I prayed nearly 8 years ago. Getting reconnected with our church family from pre-’03 days & spending quality time with loving & supportive family here on a weekly basis, my soul was nourished and filled with love & peace. Rick’s income flourished 10-fold, within the 1st 4 months of moving. My prayer for him to be connected to & supported by godly, wise men in the work field was answered. He hasn’t had to seek out 1 single project or job. They’ve all been referrals. The Lord also answered a prayer uttered years ago for a restored reputation. My husband worked hard, teaching & pushing himself to new levels valuable in the web marketing business. But all glory is our God’s. He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek him, & gives wisdom & strength to us when we ask.
When I was paralyzed with fear 1 year ago about an uncertain future, it was all I could do to sing with tears & conviction, these line in I will not take my love away:
“When praises cease & seasons change…I will not leave you all alone when striving leads you far from home, when there’s no yield for what you’ve sown…I will give you what you need in plenty or in poverty. Forever, always look to me, I will give you what you need…”
But He has proven even in uncertain times, how truly GREAT is his Faithfulness. How could I doubt it? All I have to do is think of all that has happened with Rick’s business & friends, my SCTNow volunteer position & supportive family, peace & provision from June 2nd ‘2010 until June 2011. And it makes me want to lift my hands & sing loud with a thankful heart to my God who has always had us in his hand & will never let us go.