He spoke to me earlier this week. it ws so cool. i was praying @ the mirror about my marriage (which is fine, but could b better) asking God to speak 2 me & before i was thru thinking those words, i heard “I’m working”– isnt that weird? it’s cool though! like he cut me off to remind me that he is always doing his thing behind the scenes, just dukin’ it out…just workin’ it out.
i was kind of thinking he was just sitting back watching us dog-paddle in our sea of selfishness & doubt & so i started to plea. can u just hear him saying in a new york accent, “I’m workin’ here! don’t worry ’bout it!” ~ a good reminder. i wrote it on my bathroom white-board so i don’t forget it thru-out the week.
hey you never know, he might have a new york accent.
Lord, this morning, baby girl fell and hit her mouth on the amp, so i gave her a popsicle to help w/the pain. i know that when i get hurt sometimes, i need a little something to distract me from it. something that tastes good, something that numbs, something that makes it feel better, even for a little while. i guess everybody’s popsicle is different. for some it’s alcohol, caffeine, gambling. for me it’s sugary things like chocolate, or it’s coffee, sleep, or spending which can all be helpful…moderately. i trust you to prompt me when it’s ok to have them & when is enough. & when the hurt is bad, help me to recall the healing power of your word…& make the time for it.
the next thing i heard a few minutes later was this scream-cry from the kitchen. i ran in there & saw that angel had a hold on that popsicle so tight but didn’t know how to let go of it. it was freezing her hand. the very thing i gave her as a treat to numb & distract – in just a few minutes made things much worse.
give me the wisdom to know how to let go of unhealthy habits before they turn into addictions that can put a thick wall between us. i don’t want anything having a strong hold on me
except for you.
lazy pray-z girl. that can be me, alright. sometimes even when i know he cares and i know he’s listenin’, i still don’t take the time to pray. i don’t know why. maybe partly b/c i think it’s faster and easier to get things done myself, which is actually pride, no matter how i slice it. even this morning as i woke with a headache, i actually thought to pray about it and a minute later, grabbed my advil. what is that about? can i not send up a prayer and wait 10 minutes to see if my headache subsides? i bet most of my little round, red pills have been wasted. all it takes is patience and a little faith. not just faith that he will listen and help, but faith that he cares even about the little details of my health…headaches, skin problems, cramps. sometimes i forget that i believe what matters to me matters to him b/c he’s a caring, loving person…the perfect parent. and often times he will reward my faith just as he did when so many came up to him with infirmities – touched him – and b/c of their faith, were instantly healed.
“but he said, what is impossible with men is possible with God.” j. meyer gave me some insight on that this morning. sure it’s true, but how ’bout this take: “when i do everything that i can do, he will then step in an do what i cannot.” strikes a chord, cause it means we actually have some responsibility to walk our talk and to take faith-action in areas of our lives that we haven’t before…or areas that we have a while back, and need to again. it means we need to stop it with our whiny, deceptive ‘i’m trying!’ mind-set which can actually be self-pity in pretty wrapping paper, and get up & do something in faith. really, anything. i want to be a doer of the word.
eugene peterson paraphrased, “because you’re not yet taking God seriously,”…”the simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, ‘move!’ and it would move. there is nothing you wouldn’t be able to tackle.”
today, i’m going to stop saying it and actually do it ~ trust him to help me with my total health & with my time management. i’m going to get some exercise. and i’m going to spend less time on the computer and more time outside w/my kiddos. starting now.