Redefine Love

Vs.1

There’s no way that you could understand

The shiver and nausea from his hand

As it creeps beyond my boundary, I wonder “why…

Of all the other children, was it I?”

.

This must be what love is

The pain is real; Each day I kneel

I must be of value

At least my skin; A feast of sin

.

Pre-Chorus:

This must be what love is

If this is what love is…

Chorus:

Redefine Love!

Start over fresh, Start over fresh

Redefine Love!

Start over fresh, Start over fresh

Vs.2

“If I didn’t care”, he says, “would I

Waste my energy to black your eye?”

“Fear”, he says, “will make you humble” so

I take one more beating, one more blow

.

This must be what love is

My basic needs are met with deeds

I must be of value

If I invoke a twisted choke

 

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

 

Vs.3

Something tells me God could understand

If pure love and strength flowed from His hand

Blood and water poured out of His side

Hope was born in laying down his life

.

This must be what love is

To sing, to heal; To pray, to feel

I must be of value

My heart, my soul; The part, the whole

.

This must be what love is

This must be what love is

.

(You can…) Redefine Love!

Start over fresh, w/gentleness

(You can…) Redefine Love!

Let’s start over fresh

Start over fresh

.

Redefine Love, God, redefine love.

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shattered glass

what happens when your world, as peaceful & good as you think it is, falls apart almost suddenly? what do you do when you hear the news – the kind of news that not just changes your year, but your entire life? you can try to move on, do your best to reconcile your feelings of disappointment & confusion. you may find it easier, in the moment, to skirt around the issue or even ignore it. have you ever had a child stand 2 inches from your face, staring at you? it seems impossible to not look back. ignoring never works. looking back is ok until we can say “i’m doing everything i can do to let God work.” looking back as a means of facing your own short-comings with humility & honesty so that you can learn from them, is different than “dwelling in the past”. looking back for short periods with a heart of thankfulness and self-examination is crucial. remembering triggers, thought patterns, habits & lures can be hugely instrumental in keeping us from making poor choices in the future.

and yet, even when we believe it’s been pretty well worked out, reminders have their way, don’t they.

my son helps with a few things around the house like dust-busting the kitchen floor, cleaning, and emptying the dishwasher. tuesday he was moving all the cups to the counter and trying a shortcut by stacking them. just as i saw him stack two glasses, i chimed in, “woah, there! you shouldn’t stack glasses!” quickly, he pulled the top one out of the other. “…they could br…” and it shattered. thin shards flickered all across the floor.

5 years. pornography and a messy affair threatened to obliterate our unity as a family. oh, that’s not how long it lasted. that’s how long ago it happened. both our lives were terribly affected by the lies. there is hope!! but trust is so slow moving. even after this long… after so many boundaries and kept promises, after our marriage has seriously grown, & we are restored, i can still step on a sharp piece of broken glass. it’s few & far between, but we still struggle. we haven’t done all our learnin’ just yet.

a strange text message or email, a late poker night with work friends…they can lead to lies in my head. those bastards (the lies) can stab my sole and make it bleed ’til of course, we talk it out like grown-ups. me & my husband…and me & my God. and i’m healed again.

trust breaks. it happens with abandonment, or the death of someone very close. it happens with verbal or physical or sexual abuse or when a parent lets you down. it happens when your son looks you in the eye & lies.

but i continually find comfort in this truth: His mercies really are new every morning.

have you ever committed to building trust again after it was shattered? how long did it take to restore? do those stupid tiny pieces of broken glass ever really go away…completely?