raising the bar, pt.3 “confrontation”

matthew 15:18

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. if he hears you, you have gained your brother.”

raise the bar:

i thought it was pretty noble to forgive those who come to me after they’ve offended me. even more so if they never asked for forgiveness out right. but this passage says essentially that if i’m offended by someone’s actions toward me, i don’t wait for him to come a-knockin’ Continue reading

shattered glass

what happens when your world, as peaceful & good as you think it is, falls apart almost suddenly? what do you do when you hear the news – the kind of news that not just changes your year, but your entire life? you can try to move on, do your best to reconcile your feelings of disappointment & confusion. you may find it easier, in the moment, to skirt around the issue or even ignore it. have you ever had a child stand 2 inches from your face, staring at you? it seems impossible to not look back. ignoring never works. looking back is ok until we can say “i’m doing everything i can do to let God work.” looking back as a means of facing your own short-comings with humility & honesty so that you can learn from them, is different than “dwelling in the past”. looking back for short periods with a heart of thankfulness and self-examination is crucial. remembering triggers, thought patterns, habits & lures can be hugely instrumental in keeping us from making poor choices in the future.

and yet, even when we believe it’s been pretty well worked out, reminders have their way, don’t they.

my son helps with a few things around the house like dust-busting the kitchen floor, cleaning, and emptying the dishwasher. tuesday he was moving all the cups to the counter and trying a shortcut by stacking them. just as i saw him stack two glasses, i chimed in, “woah, there! you shouldn’t stack glasses!” quickly, he pulled the top one out of the other. “…they could br…” and it shattered. thin shards flickered all across the floor.

5 years. pornography and a messy affair threatened to obliterate our unity as a family. oh, that’s not how long it lasted. that’s how long ago it happened. both our lives were terribly affected by the lies. there is hope!! but trust is so slow moving. even after this long… after so many boundaries and kept promises, after our marriage has seriously grown, & we are restored, i can still step on a sharp piece of broken glass. it’s few & far between, but we still struggle. we haven’t done all our learnin’ just yet.

a strange text message or email, a late poker night with work friends…they can lead to lies in my head. those bastards (the lies) can stab my sole and make it bleed ’til of course, we talk it out like grown-ups. me & my husband…and me & my God. and i’m healed again.

trust breaks. it happens with abandonment, or the death of someone very close. it happens with verbal or physical or sexual abuse or when a parent lets you down. it happens when your son looks you in the eye & lies.

but i continually find comfort in this truth: His mercies really are new every morning.

have you ever committed to building trust again after it was shattered? how long did it take to restore? do those stupid tiny pieces of broken glass ever really go away…completely?

worship to a new song…from hillsong: “HEALER”

UPDATED 8/21: what i’ve learned about this song’s writer is disappointing…but it doesn’t change the fact that God doesn’t change. the lyrics still ring true. the most impacting way to glorify God is through our lifestyles. and the most impacting time? when we are in our most broken state.

i’m praying that through this controversy, the essence of true grace be realized in churches & Christians worldwide. for more on this story, i’ll just “ping” you over to chris from canada who’s posted some really great thoughts & discussion…and has more time than myself, to write on this.

how ’bout this week, let’s think about what God’s Word says: pray for those who hurt you.

7/9: how can we not worship HIM!? every time we do, truth rings in our hearts & our faith is strengthened.

psalm seventy-one

you have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again.

this psalm is for the one who’s hurt from the past and the present, but finds hope in the fact that God’s promises are truer and more faithful than anything we know. (vs. 22 ‘i will praise you…b/c you are faithful to your promises O God’) he is not saying ‘will you restore me?’, but two times: ‘you will restore me’ and then ‘you will comfort me’. he is not even saying ‘i am praising you for your faithfulness’ perhaps b/c he doesn’t feel like praising in the downpour of rain while writing this. but he does say to God that he will. like he knows he’ll come around in a little while, cause he can’t deny the truth and he’s like ‘i can’t sulk in my pool of self-pity for much longer or it’ll eat me up! instead i know ‘i will praise…i will sing…i will shout…i will tell’.

after & during the pain of going thru adultery, it was tempting for me to sulk, to point my own fingers at me & all but ask people to feel bad for me. but then if someone said ‘i’m so sorry’ in my mind i was all, ‘i dont want you to feel sorry for me!’. psalms like this one always put my mind back in its place: off of me, off the circumstance, and onto the power that could and did make me more than a conqueror. it took a couple of years to heal & learn restoration & 4.5 yrs later we’re still workin’ out trust now & then, but yeah, oh yeah, that demon’s butt was kicked, against all odds. and now i am praising, i am singing, i am shouting & i am telling anyone and everyone ~ our marriage is restored!